Jul 21, 2012

Review/Guest Post/Giveaway: Court Burback - A Coupla Shades of Taupe





Pub Date: June 18, 2012
Publisher: Diversion Books
Format: ebook, 131 pages
Age Range: Adult
Source: Author

Pagan Taupe is the wealthiest man in all of Arkansas. He’s got a home with a working refrigerator, a private rickshaw driver, and a respected empire of taxidermy/fro-yo chain stores. The only thing that’s missing is a whiny young codependent named Alexandra Aluminum. From the moment he sees her tripping over an angry raccoon, it’s clear that Alexandra dills his pickle. Pagan becomes obsessed with Alexandra at a level normally portrayed by Rob Lowe in Lifetime movies. But unlike Rob Lowe, Pagan doesn’t want to beat her with a tire iron and bury her beneath the town bridge—he wants to make her his live-in sex slave.

But if eager young Alexandra wants to feel the caress of Pagan’s ear hair against her cheek, she’s going to have to play by his rules. When Pagan reveals the special room he’s built to live out his sexual proclivities, Alexandra’s natural reaction is to cold cock him and call the police. But the clown chained to the wall assures Alexandra that Pagan is a stand-up guy, and if she gives him a chance he can introduce her to a world of unimaginable pleasure. Alexandra takes the leap and agrees to be Pagan’s unquestioning “submissive,” and the two embark on a sexual journey that would make Gloria Steinem put a loaded gun to her temple. 

A COUPLA SHADES OF TAUPE is a romantic, tender tale of blossoming emotions and hardcore schtupping. A Pulitzer is inevitable.

Oh. My. Goodness! First, let me start by saying that I have NOT read Fifty Shades of Grey, and if you can't tell, this is a parody of that. Obviously, if I've read this, then I don't have a problem with the subject matter tackled in Fifty Shades. The problem with that "book" is that it's completely unedited - terrible punctuation, awful grammar, same words used over and over again, etc. How do I know this? I've read enough excerpts and heard from enough friends that this book is going to just irritate the eff out of me. Moving on to the review of this (hilarious) book. 

So, Court Burback made me laugh throughout this whole, entire novel! Alexandra's major in college is Books and Stuff, and she writes essays with crayons. Pagan Taupe is slimy and strange, and his goat, "Sometimes Girlfriend," makes an appearance. Laughing yet? Yes? Then you should read the rest of this hysterical piece of satire! There's a clown chained to a wall, lots of ridiculous sexual escapades, a few amusing misunderstandings, and the most infuriating and comically funny ending of all time. Seriously. I couldn't believe it! 

Now.. if this wasn't a parody, I would have immediately put the book down. It really is all a giant joke. But when you know what it's poking fun at, then the book becomes all fun and folly. It's written with fantastic grammar, punctuation, and editing, so it's already 100% better than the book it's mocking. The jokes are smart and funny, witty and fresh. It's a fast read, and it will make you giggle, which will burn calories. That's always good. *wink*

Bottom line: Even if you haven't read Fifty Shades, you can appreciate the effort of this truly funny book. 

Rating:


3.5 / 5 book sharks


Top Ten Tweets That Should Be Untwit
by Court Burback

I recently joined Twitter, after being told it would change my life. And it has. Thanks to this time vampire, I’ve now seen daylong tweets on the progress of an ongoing battle with a hangnail. Updates on the texture of things coming out of your baby, tweets professing your love for Cinnabon coffee creamer—I can’t unread these things. With that in mind, here’s an aggressively playful list of tweets I think the Twitter universe can do without. And please feel free to add any traumatizing/TMI tweets you’ve received to this list. Sharing is healing!       

Top 10 Tweets That Should be Untwit:

1. Omigod! Just talked to my aunt. Found out that Jersey Shore won’t be back for another season. Oh yeah, and my uncle died. #SaveSnooki

2. I just saw a rainbow and it made me sad. What’s up with that?! #DeepThoughts

3. Just had a latte. Too foamy, I think. People underestimate how much the foam to liquid ratio affects the latte experience. You know what? The latte was fine, come to think of it. I think what I really wanted was a cappuccino. #ALatteLater

4. Tweeting from the gyno’s chair! Can’t they freakin’ microwave these speculums first?! #HelloCervix

5. Is it just me or without the mustache is Hitler actually kinda dreamy? #MenWithAccents

6. My #@&*?!! boyfriend tried to break up with me cause he said I was getting ‘too intense’ and ‘scaring the hell out of him.’ Totally unrelated question: Does anybody know a one-stop shop where I can get bleach, a shovel, and a bag of salt? #RelationshipFixed
  
7. Just had an insane BM. A five-flusher!!! See pics on Facebook. #NoMoreChipotle

8. My cat started licking my face and I decided to see how long he’d keep it up. Going on hour five! #RashIsWorthIt

9. If god had wanted me to go to work today he wouldn’t have put a Toddlers & Tiaras marathon on TLC. #WhereMySweatpantsAt

10. Do the rules for statutory rape apply if it’s your cousin? #BestFamilyReunionEver

Court Burback is the author of A Coupla Shades of Taupe, which has been called “a book” and “extremely inappropriate for children.” Your purchase of A Coupla Shades of Taupe on Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com will provide Court with a nourishing packet of Top Ramen noodles. Court has also been known to loiter on Goodreads.com. And although she’s currently on the fence about this whole Twitter thing, your encouraging tweet can turn everything around for her and envelop her in a warm cyber hug. Tweet her at @courtburback.   

Find Court:


Giveaway Alert!!

Now that I have convinced you to read this hysterical, satirical, amusing journey of a novel, please feel free to enter this giveaway to read it at no charge! The lovely author has agreed to give away THREE ebook copies of her novel on my blog!! WOO! So enter away! Share with your friends! It's international since it's an ebook giveaway. Ends 8/4/12. Use the Rafflecopter form below to enter. Thanks and good luck!!

a Rafflecopter giveaway


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